Man Buns Outlawed in FL?
Due to the influx of new residents from states with less refined sartorial sense, Florida Governor DeSantis has signed an order outlawing man-buns before they can infect the proud and masculine culture of Florida.
The legal consequences of having a man-bun will include forfeiting the right to vote and having the bun cut off in a public and swift demonstration of justice.
“Just as we will not have our school textbooks replaced with Marxist propaganda, we will not have our mullets replaced with hippie-dippie man-buns,” said DeSantis to the press. “The legacy of Florida as free, fair, and man-bun free will live on!”
Brett Rodrick, an ex-California resident who now lives in Florida and has sported a man-bun since his youth, said “I can’t believe this. What did my man-bun ever do to him? It’s just, like… dude! I can’t even! That’s totally unfair that we can’t rock a bun, you know? DeSantis is such a fascist, establishment prude!”
Rodrick then tied his long hair up in a messy bun and was immediately dragged away and brought to the town square for a public bun removal.
At publishing time, Rodrick confirmed he plans to remain in Florida because he actually likes the low taxes and having a job, plus that sweet inflation relief stimulus check last month.
Source: Babylon Bee